We’re about to enter into a very sacred journey with some of you to heal your core wounds — a hero’s/heroine’s journey you could say. As we prepare for this, we’re moved to send a very deep bow to all of you who are engaged in this deep work of healing and transforming the wounds that keep you small, that keep you away from your beloved, from joy, and from your sacred mission on Earth.
And this of course isn’t just for those of you working with us — we know many of you reading this are working with others (or doing your own work), and our bow extends to you all on this journey!
We found this recently, and wanted to share because it’s beautifully written and explains this so well:
Core wounds are wounds that occurred in childhood. These are wounds that happen when one is not tended to properly as a child through neglect, abuse or maltreatment. Parents can damage the core essence of their children without even knowing it. Some caretakers are deficit in their own needs and are unable to give to their child. In fact, the way our culture raises children leads to much core wounding among us all. Everyone has core wounds at some level–some have it worse than others.
The core wound is experienced as deep-level pain due to some unmet childhood development need. This pain is triggered in current day situations when you encounter a similar situation or dynamic. It’s the deep stuff that surfaces when you face difficult losses in life. It’s the pain that is beneath the pain. The emotion that’s fueling all emotions. It’s the pain that drives one to drink, smoke, take drugs, gamble, shop or addictive relationships.
Core wounds include rejection, abandonment, betrayal, loss, injustice and the like. When our needs are not met as children, we experience the core wound and we experience toxic shame. We believe that because we were rejected or abandoned or that we lost a parent or a friend, that we are bad. We turn the external maltreatment internal and onto ourselves. The wound produces beliefs. These beliefs are what perpetuate the wound over and over and over until we die or the wound is healed.
People do anything to avoid their core wounds. Core wounds are the lie that says:
“You’re not good enough.”
“Nobody loves you.”
“You are worthless.”
These voices in both your subconscious and conscious mind repeat over and over in myriad ways throughout your life unless they are healed. You will find yourself getting into scenarios again and again that prove your false beliefs to be true. Your core wounds are the fuel for false beliefs.
Healing the core wounds takes a lot of devastating work; much personal destruction and rebuilding…the key to setting you free is found at the center of the wound. If you want healing, you have to go into the eye of the storm. ~ Jenna Ryan
We (Jill and Remi) both spent decades wrapped up in our own core wounds and living the effects of how we felt based on what we went through in our childhoods, and YES we can say this work is just as she describes — devastating, requiring much personal destruction and rebuilding — going into the eye of the storm indeed.
We can both tell you though, this IS the key to setting you free, and also one of the crucial keys to going into union with your twin flame, and also going fully on your mission as an advanced soul.
Why wouldn’t everyone work on transforming these core wounds? Because we feel the horrors of our pain there, because we feel powerless to transform it, because we face our self-hatred there. It feels far too scary. And it’s also something called internalized oppression — we avoid healing deeply in order to continue to beat ourselves up and hate life. And as painful as that is, it feels safer than transforming deeply.
But our avoidance of going there perpetuates our unlived life — our inability to get the love we want, our not getting the money we need, our not being on mission. And our avoiding healing ourselves deeply guarantees that our twin flame or other soul connection won’t be coming to us — it helps to keep us safe!
If you know you still have core wounds to heal, this is the time when the energies are here to support you in doing this. Freedom is right here for you. There are many resources out there for you to support you in this — but please don’t waste your time with people who are either promising you a quick, easy fix around your emotions by avoiding your feelings or focusing only on the light (spiritual bypass), or are using old-school “traditional” methods of counseling. These likely won’t take you very far and won’t help you much, and can even make things worse as you can feel discouraged when you don’t feel better.
If you’ve been focused mostly on your twin flame and what they need to heal — now would be a great time to turn your focus to you. Paradoxically, the road to union in great part lies with the self. We must transform ourselves very deeply — otherwise, our twin will reflect our wounds and remain in avoidance or acting out. We can’t promise you they’ll come to you if you clean out your basement — no one can. But we can promise you it’s far more likely to happen if you work very deeply on yourself. We know, it’s really hard and really scary to do so. But this is where the gold is!
One of the reasons we avoid deep healing is because we’re afraid of more pain. That’s one of the old ways of healing — feeling our pain very deeply. That method is retraumatizing for a lot of people. We end up feeling worse or, at least, no better.
Healing doesn’t have to hurt so much! We think of what we do as “touch and go” — you touch into what needs to be healed, then apply the remedy to transform it quickly. You cry, you feel, you release, and the energy moves. Relief is very fast, and then your life changes accordingly. Did you know even major traumas can be transformed in a minute or two using energy healing methods? Yes, they can.
In healing your core wounds, you have NOTHING to lose and absolutely everything to gain. When you are vibrating as a transformed being, life can’t help but meet you there.
We share a lot of our hair-raising challenges and moments as twin flames, and we are also here to share with you the utter bliss and wonder that we live on a daily basis, having gone through the eye of the storm and made it out on the other side.
Healing and ascension, healing and mission, healing and union are all intertwined. In many ways, healing your core wounds are your ticket to reclaiming your sacred self and sacred life. Healing at this level is the re-establishment of the sacred self, where you are free to participate in the cosmic dance of the beloved, being fully on mission
As we jokingly say to each other: “that’s not so bad!”
Sometimes we don’t do this work until it just plain hurts too much not to. A favorite story of ours is from Neale Donald Walsch, the author and teacher, whose core wounds had pushed him to the very basement of life — homeless, having lost everything, in utter darkness — rock bottom. He recalls the moment when he awoke in the early hours of the morning and heard a voice say: “Have you had enough yet?”
His answer was a definite “yes.” And then his journey began…
Have you had enough yet?
If so, what are you waiting for?
© Twin Flame Healers
On December 8, 2011, my life changed forever. It was the first time I looked into the most incredible eyes I’d ever seen — bright blue, full of knowing, and all I could think about was “I know you!” and all I could feel was waves of the purest, most unconditional love I’d ever felt. Remi, my twin flame (though I’d never heard of twin flames before that day!).
Our journey actually started a few weeks earlier, when I was looking for a healer for my sensitive soul son, and I wanted just the right one. I’d been searching for awhile, but on a day a few days before Thanksgiving, a video popped up with my search words. I clicked on it, and there he was! The feeling that rushed through me was so intense, and the words that popped into my mind were “I should have waited for him.” Huh?
He was talking about healing for indigo kids, and every word out of his mouth was something I recognized, something I could have (or had actually) said myself. It was like experiencing another version of me, but with enough polarity that I was intensely attracted, on a different level than I’d ever felt — soul attraction (as corny as that sounds)!
I knew immediately he was the healer I had been looking for, and I emailed him right away asking for a session. He replied, and gave me his last session spot before he was leaving for India for six weeks.
The day of our session, I was so nervous and excited. Of course I had to look good (hehe) since we were going to be on Skype. It turns out it didn’t matter of course, but those were my girly thoughts at the time.
The time came, and there he was. By the end of the session, finding out I was a healer too, he asked me for a trade, turning me into a colleague rather than a client (good move, Remi!) right away.
After we hung up, I was shaking — literally trembling with so much energy moving through my body that my teeth were chattering. I called a dear friend and she intuitively tapped in and said, “This just changed your life.” We had no idea….
Anyway, that was just over five years ago, and as you all know our journey has taken many twists and turns and ups and downs and we have really dived in full time, full hearted and full souled into this twin flame dance. Although we are fully committed, marriage was never important to us — we’d both been there, done that and honestly both of us had some fears and reservations about going down that road again, even with each other.
But recently, it started to come up more and more and we finally said, “let’s do it!” It felt like the right next move for us and felt important somehow in terms of going to the next level of union — taking it all the way down into 3D — married.
On the fifth anniversary of our first meeting, I flew down to California where Remi was soaking up some sun, and when we woke up on day 1 of year 6 of our journey, I was getting some incredible downloads about twin flames and a few glimpses into the next phase of our journey of mission.
We went out to breakfast, and the conversation turned to, “maybe we should just do it, this week while we’re here” and then to “why not today?” It just felt right, the first day of our sixth year, December 9. We checked the numerology — good. Astrology — fine. No roadblocks.
So, in typical fashion for us, going with the flow, we got our license that morning, found a wedding officiant who did same day weddings (a goddess!), and with zero planning and wearing our sandals, had the most beautiful, spontaneous, joyful wedding, just the two of us and our wedding helpers, on Butterfly Beach.
Our vows were spontaneous and I couldn’t even tell you what we said, except I was crying through most of it with utter joy and the bliss was incredible.
I’m honestly surprised at how great it feels to be married to each other — we never cared about it before but it feels amazingly right and like we’ve come even closer together.
We’re ready to soar now into our next phase of Union and Mission — we’ve gotten some big messages which we’ll share with you soon.
For now, we send you all our love and our blessings with the bliss of our wedding and new marriage and sacred union at this next level — and we’re ready to help you go onward and upward into your own sacred union and mission. It’s never just about us anymore, we’re all in this together .
Namaste and jai ho!
© Twin Flame Healers
We’ve all been there. Maybe some of you are there right now.
You’re pissed. He/she has said/done/implied something that has you majorly up in arms. I don’t deserve this! This isn’t the way he/she should be! I’ve had it! (Sound familiar?)
Then you rattle off that angry email/text/phone message and…voila! We all know how well this goes (not).
So…what to do instead?
I’ve been angry today. Not at Remi (lucky him haha) but at others. Something well-meaning I wrote inspired a few angry emails, one of them feeling really insulting and unfair. I had decided not to respond, then my more primitive side took over and I was busy crafting a beautifully redemptive email. I could feel the heat and “righteous anger” building — the fire in the belly — and luckily my higher wiser self kicked in and I hit the pause button.
What came to mind was Kali and Durga — two goddesses who are different aspects of each other. I’ll tell you their stories because they are important goddesses (we believe) for all twin flames.
The Hindu story goes like this: the gods and the demons are battling for the heavens and Earth, and the battle has been going on for a very long time. The demons have some wonderful tricks up their sleeves and are winning the battle, kicking the gods out of heaven one by one, disturbing the balance of light and dark.
Finally, the gods decide to call a council and see what they need to do. After putting their heads together, they realize “we forgot the feminine!” and together they call upon the great Goddess, as yet unmanifest, to come help them in this epic battle.
The Goddess shows up as Durga: radiant, in her full sensual power, riding a tiger. She has many arms, and the gods, wowed by her energy, hand her their weapons one by one. Calmly, in her truth, restoring balance, she rides through the battle ground, slaying the demons one by one.
She is not angry, only very very clear: these demons have too much power; they have upset the balance with their tricks; they need to go. She is able to slay all of the demons but one, a buffalo demon who has a special power: when he is injured, every drop of blood that hits the ground births a new form of him.
Durga realizes something else is needed, and from her forehead is born Kali. Kali is not beautiful, or sensual, or calm — she is royally pissed! She wears a necklace of skulls, her skin is blue, her hair is Medusa-like, and she has a long, pointed tongue. Kali goes to work on the buffalo demon, and as his blood spills, Kali’s tongue catches it before it hits the ground; she is victorious and kills the demon.
The problem is, Kali can’t stop. She is so filled with rage, she continues to go through the land, destroying everything in her path. What finally stops her is Shiva, her beloved, who offers her his vulnerability by laying in her path and displaying his naked throat, hers to kill. This act of love and vulnerability wakes her up: she stops and comes back to consciousness.
Back to my story: by the fire in my belly, by the anger I was feeling, I recognized I was in Kali energy. Shiva woke me up. He reminded me that no email ever sent by Kali brings peace, or redemption, or anything but a very likely battle and some very wounded feelings.
So I breathed. And I called in Durga. I asked for the Kali energy, the anger, to be transmuted into calm power. I waited until I felt it, then I asked Durga what she wanted to say in this email.
Her answer: nothing.
And I realized she was right. When people are angry with you, when they act out, when they sent hurtful messages or do hurtful things, you will feel it, then you have a choice what to do.
Do you want to retaliate, to get back at them, to defend yourself?
Or can you take that energy and move it into your power center and act and speak from there?
When your twin flame hurts you next time, go ahead and feel as royally pissed, as Kali as you want, then ask for that energy to go into calm power, into Durga, and see what you really want to say.
Sometimes Durga does have something to say: you hurt me, I’m scared, I’m upset. But she will not blast the beloved, she will not blame and make unkind statements and accusations, she will not push and drive the beloved away with her fiery rage and her sharp tongue.
The only way to stop Kali is through consciousness and vulnerability, by going into our heart, by being willing to feel what lies underneath the anger.
As soon as I felt this shift into Durga regarding my angry email, I felt like crying. What I was really feeling was hurt, not anger. When we share our hurt, our vulnerability, the world (and certainly our beloved) responds very differently.
Kali requires cleanup and damage repair; always. Durga does a nice clean job.
To be clear: we have Kali for a reason, and we need her when we are deeply threatened or need to, say, slay a buffalo demon.
But Kali quite frankly sucks at relationship and tends to destroy trust, openness, and love. Durga can do both: power and love.
She is the goddess who is married to truth, real truth, and she will serve you so much better with your twin flame.
Be in your power, but be in your vulnerability and your heart too. Lead the way with Durga; she is a wise and wonderful ally and she’s changed my life in many ways. Let her in and see what she does for you (and let her write your emails for you!).
(Ironically, one of the accusations in the email that hurt me was that Remi and I “pretend to have no flaws.” Au contraire, our critic: we embrace these stories we tell that make us vulnerable to you as we share our foibles and our learnings and our very real flaws. That is Durga. That is us. And that is all I need to say).
Thank you, Shiva. Thank you Durga. And thank you, Kali, for being there when we need you to slay a buffalo demon and for leaving the communication with our beloved to Durga. Blessed be!
© Twin Flame Healers
Twin flames: what we resist, persists…Ohhhh yes.
We were just working with a twin flame client who asked us “does it ever go away — feeling their feelings?” I immediately got an energetic picture that the more we try to push our twin flame away, the more they push back, and the more intrusive and disruptive this energy can feel.
And the reverse is also true: the more we accept the energetic connection, the more we accept and embrace the reality that we are a twin flame, whether we “want” to be or not, this energy can calm down and flow quite harmoniously.
Twin flames are our primary soul connection. They just are. This doesn’t change. No matter what our decisions are in the 3D, whether we are pursuing active union in the physical world or not, our souls are dancing together and we have a connection that doesn’t go away.
Our souls are very powerful at intervening in our 3D lives — and thank goodness they are! Things typically don’t go so great when we let our egos/personality selves run our lives. So when we are actively trying to go against our soul (pushing our twin flame away, for example) our soul is going to send some very uncomfortable feelings, sensations and circumstances our way until we get it.
There is nothing more powerful than a twin flame’s entrance and presence in our lives to align us with our soul, our highest path, purpose and mission. And there is nothing more uncomfortable than being shown our lives are out of alignment with our soul’s essence, and knowing the truth that we need to make very earth-shaking changes as a result (in career, relationship, location, identity, and so on). No one wants to have their life blown up, and yet that is what the twin flame connection often does.
My life totally blew up after I met Remi — thank God. I was living out of alignment with who I truly was, and when we connected this lifetime I immediately knew big changes were coming. A few days after we met, my soul told me “this is your most important soul connection — honor it.” The more I resisted this, and tried to put other things first, out of duty, guilt, or fear, the worse things got and the more anxiety and stress I felt.
Recently I was shown that as a twin flame, it really is a sacred duty to honor this soul contract by giving our twin flame connection a front and center place in our lives, rather than back burner status (or worse). This doesn’t mean you have to drop everything and run and marry your twin flame (though it might!), but rather than you feel deeply into the connection and see what it is asking of you. This means making room in your energetic life for your twin flame (which they are going to take anyway if you try to push them away!) and letting that energy work on you, activating your healing, growth, and mission.
Remember that as a twin flame, you are here to serve humanity with this connection. It is so, so, very much more than a relationship.
Many of you struggle because your twin flame is acting out of ego or fear, but the more you can put your reactions aside and deal with them at the soul level, the more success you are going to have in this union.
So what to do if your twin flame is acting in a very negative way towards you? Love them anyway. It doesn’t mean you need to give them 3D space in your life, but if you have compassion and know that they are acting the way they are because of old wounds, hurts, and negative templates they are carrying, if you shift your energy towards them from judgment and blame into healing and forgiveness, miracles can (and do) happen.
As a twin flame, you have great power to help them heal, and we highly recommend you use this power. Ask yourself, if my twin flame is acting negatively, what in them needs to be healed? Just as important, ask yourself: what in me is reacting and what is this showing me about me? Going into great compassion and putting on your “healer hat” means guaranteed growth for you. Take all of this as a gift and it goes so much better!
This is a connection that asks a lot of us, but we were built for this. We’re up to the task. You can do it! Find a method of healing that works for you and use it, every day. Dedicate yourself to this and watch the miracles happen in your life — we see it over and over again in our lives and our work. The clients who get miracles are the ones who embrace the connection, even though it isn’t easy, and put their energy and time into the healing the twin flame path asks of us.
There are no guarantees that your twin flame will heal enough to “wake up” and come to you, or start acting in ways that you hope for, but you WILL grow, heal and transform, and that is guaranteed.
We are also doing very real service for this planet — we are template-carriers, and we are here to be template-transformers.
Instead of trying to push away this twin flame connection, use its power as it was intended to be used: as a transformational gift for you, them, those around you, and the world, and watch and feel how much better life goes! Blessings to you all <3.
© Twin Flame Healers
(Jill) had a dream last night that sparked something I wanted to share with you. In the dream, a very powerful woman was standing in front of a crowd accepting an honor of some kind. She started her speech by saying, “I’d like to thank my ex for wishing I got a brain tumor, because without him and all of that, I wouldn’t be standing here today.” Whoa…and yes.
Carlos Castaneda wrote: “My benefactor used to say that a warrior who stumbles on a petty tyrant is a lucky one.” He defines a petty tyrant as “a tormentor – someone who either holds the power of life and death over warriors or simply annoys them to distraction.”
He goes on to say, “Nothing can temper the spirit of a warrior as much as the challenge of dealing with impossible people in positions of power. Only under those conditions can warriors acquire the sobriety and serenity to stand the pressure of the unknowable. The perfect ingredient for the making of a superb seer is a petty tyrant with unlimited prerogatives. Seers have to go to extremes to find a worthy one. Most of the time they have to be satisfied with very small fry.”
So, aren’t we blessed? We don’t have to look far to find a petty tyrant that is worthy of us, and yes I’m speaking of our twin flame. Remi and I can say for sure that we have been each other’s most worthy petty tyrants in the five years we’ve known each other, and in these five years in we have become seers and warriors beyond what we knew was possible before we met. So can you.
As a result of going through all we’ve gone through, I am a different person, exponentially stronger and lighter and freer, with more purpose and passion for living and serving and life. And it’s not because Remi made it easy on me! And I see the same results in him.
How might your thinking and feeling about your twin flame (and your life) be different if you appreciated your twin for the way they are your “worthy petty tyrant,” helping you infinitely up the mountain to power, strength, compassion, joy, and so much more?
A favorite story (from the book “Twin Souls” by Maurie Pressman and Patricia Joudry) tells of Archangel Michael and Lucifer in a battle on a set of stairs. Archangel Michael is above, and as Lucifer comes at him with his sword, Michael is forced up and up the stairs. After a great battle, he finally reaches the top, lays down his sword, and holds out his hand to Lucifer, who joins him on the top step, as brothers. Whoa again!
Twin flames are, for each other, sometimes Archangel Micheal, inspiring the twin to go higher and lifting them up, and sometimes Lucifer, being each other’s wonderfully worthy petty tyrant, driving them up the mountain of growth, healing and transformation.
The Phoenix didn’t get to rebirth before its old self died, in the fires of transformation he/she rose again, in a new form, more powerful, lighter and free. And so it is with you. <3
© Twin Flame Healers